Writing

Allowing

I've been absent. I have been struggling with this underlying sadness, and a dark, dreary apathy. It's ironic, because I'm a basically happy person. I laugh a lot and find much in life to love. And yet, this writing has brought out the pain underlying it all. In honesty, I've always known it was there. It hangs like clouds off in the distance, signaling a pending storm. I work hard to keep the storm at bay. Working hard here being a physical statement as well as an emotional one. Go, go, go. Do, do, do.

What's that fear

Does the fear I feel inside myself
have anything to do with you
or is it really about something inside of me
something which colors my view

I'm starting to think I project
these feelings upon your soul.
The truth, is likely more difficult,
I think I own this hole.

So what's the real risk in knowing?
What I'm unwilling to see
when I start to worry and fret?
What's going on in little old me?

Poetry
Life Lessons

Magic Carpet Ride

I met a new friend one day
seemed no one else could spy.
She was small like an elf child
with a mischievous sparkle in her eye.

She moved her finger in invitation
and ran off down the street.
I followed her close behind
not knowing who we'd meet.

We came upon a willow tree
and up the tree she flew.
I moved with hesitation,
not having any clue.

We climbed higher and higher
right on out of that tree.
There were clouds all around us
as far as the eye could see.

Poetry

My Sacred Journey

initiations
stories told about my conception
lies and deception
a light hidden
a false foundation

mommy goes to school
no daddy to fill the gaps
too many goodbyes and tear streaked cheeks
grandma and grandpa left holding hands

body violated
too young to understand
boundaries ruptured
innocence stolen

finally an adult

family members' attempted suicides
bring fear of loss
inadequacies revealed
powerless to change

Poetry
Sexuality
Life Lessons

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