Dear Mom

Dear Mom,
I want you to know
I don't blame you for the dark
things that happened to me
when I was a child.
I don't have any anger towards you.
I have long since accepted
you did the best you knew how at the time.
And, I truly believe
you left not only for your own sanity
but for my safety as well.
I believe some subconscious part of you knew
he was no good for either one of us.
I have come to this place in my life of acceptance
Acceptance of what really happened

Write, Because

Like my life depended on it
My inner thoughts
To record
My learning process
To inspire
To encourage contemplation
A balm for pain
For healing

I have a voice
Writing brings me to life
Without it, I become aimless and angst ridden
Daily writing makes me smile
It listens
It doesn't judge
It touches others
It makes me whole


Edge of the Abyss

I stand at the edge of the abyss.
But it's really only darkness.
If only I could shine a light on this dark,
I might be able to see what's there.

It's the noise in the night that terrified me as a child.
It's the memories I couldn't quite grasp as an adult
That constricted my throat and made it impossible to breath.
It's the things of childhood I couldn't speak of,
The darkness that split my being into pieces.
Some part stayed and she's still lost in the darkness.
The rest turned the other way and moved on.


I will always love you

I see before me a beautiful soul
who sometimes swims alone in the dark.
I want you to know
you can call on me even in your darkest hour.
I am terrified when I see that look in your eyes
of hovering on the abyss of darkness.
I want to see peace and contentment
in your eyes.
I want to be able to celebrate your todays
without fearing for your tomorrows.
I want to know
you are okay.
I want you to know
I love you and I see you.
I will love you
even when you don't think

Grief, Death and Dying

I want

I want to see my way clearly
I want to jump with joy for the knowing
I want to change the world for the better
I want to know, and do, and be joyous

I want to feel a thrill when I see that glimmer in your eyes
I want to revel in your attentions
I want to feel and act freely with no reservations
I want to know, and do, and be ecstatic

I want to be a part, smack dab in the middle
I want to feel the touch of each heart
I want to see the excitement in all eyes
I want to know, and do, and be connected


Gardening's Worth

I sit on the edge of a garden bed
after a long day of laboring.
The sun and clouds are still overhead
and the wind rages around me.

The giant firs wave back and forth
seeming to sigh so loudly.
And chimes set around the yard
deliver their song so proudly.

The wind quietly caresses my cheeks
and I deeply breath in its solace.
In spite of the constant motion of nature
the world around me seems flawless.