Life Lessons

Showing Up

I feel suspended in time. I am dealing with my Mom’s estate and I continue to take stock of her life. She told me in the year before her death she was a social misfit; she had no social grace. Funny thing is that is what I noticed my whole life. My mom was loud and boisterous. She laughed, loud, at jokes. She went about her life doing what she did, insisting others help her on her time, being the center of her own life. As a child, I found it embarrassing. 

Where Do I Go When I Need To Get Away? What Does It Mean To Come Home?

Some days I love the idea of escape. Just run off and leave all the complicated stuff behind. Don't look back and keep on moving. I tried taking off for a day a couple times, years ago. I found when I got to the beach, I couldn't sit still. It didn't solve any of the problems I was trying to run away from. I quit trying to escape.

Driving My Life

I woke at 2:00 this morning with a dream.

I was driving a car at night down a highway. It was a smooth peaceful ride and then I came to a corner. As I moved into the corner, the car kept going straight. I grabbed tighter but still wasn't making the turn. I looked down and realized I held onto the gear shift with my right hand and the door handle with my left. I moved my hands to the steering wheel and tried to make the corner as I spun into the gravel. The dream seemed to end there though I was left with the impression of seeing myself land in the trees of the forest.

These Things I Hold True

These things I hold true-
The sun will rise every day
Family comes first
All. Life. is Sacred.
Absolute honesty is best
Life is a journey
Some things will break you
you can be put back together again
but you'll be different than before
Spirituality is not a religion
it is a way of living
put love first
be kind, not right
be present
do what is right in front of you to be done
if you think you know the answer, think again
Loving another human being takes work

Poetry
Life Lessons
Wild Heart

What is Your Story?

I am finished telling myself I am a failure
that I never finish what I start
It's no longer true about me
I no longer wish to give that story life
I'm ready to build on a new story
One where I finished a book of poetry
One where I finished a beautiful herb garden
One where I've learned to say what I mean and what I feel
One where I talk about the tough stuff
One where I can surrender to what's right in front of me

Goodbye To The Old Year

For you, and for the lifetimes you’ve lived in one short year:
For the digging and the smoothing and the planting 
For placing herbs long grown in pots into their new home
For maintaining your own sanity amidst so much change
For taking on what you said you'd never do
For being love first
For learning you can do things you never thought you could
For finding the will to step beyond the wall
For surrendering to life and taking one day at a time
For putting love and care ahead of your own agenda

What Truth Would You Tell

Path at sunset

The only truth I know-
you can love
with all your heart
you can guide
gently or firmly
you can build
from the ground up
molding and nurturing
or slapping into shape
but in the end
you can't force another
to love themselves
to find value in being on this earth
you can't force them
to live life your way
you can tell them every day
how much you love them
but in the end
they have their own journey
their own road to walk
for better or worse
it's not up to you

Poetry
Wild Heart
Life Lessons

What is the Moment That Changed Everything

I've been looking at my life lately, digging for the moments when my soul reached out and tried to move me in a different direction. There are many. Some small, almost insignificant. Some brutally painful, causing a rending of self and a searching for answers. But when I consider one moment that everything changed, I remember this.

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