Grief, Death and Dying

What follows is a combination of poetry written after my son's death by suicide and writing during the journey of my mom's death from kidney disease.

Spring's Urging

I'm trying to move,
sadness continues to be
my constant companion.
My mind is a constant swirl.
I can feel the stirring of spring.
I can feel the pressure
of tasks long left undone.
I no longer want to just curl up
in front of the fire,
or stay in my cave
and ignore the rest of the world.
But I also don't seem to have
any forward moving energy.
So, I'm just letting it be,
finding one thing
that calls me in the moment.
Baby steps, I believe they call it,
steps into the now.

Poetry
Grief, Death and Dying
Seasons

An evening of remembrance

An evening of remembrance -
stories shared
with a best friend,
another one who adored him.
Once again
I'm back to the why.
I reach this place of acceptance,
of letting go and moving on.
Then something happens
to bring back the senselessness
of the whole affair.
That darkness he hid so well,
the one that ate him
from the inside out,
the one we caught glimpses of
over the years
as he battled with the monster
known as depression.
How can someone so good,
so loving and giving

Grief, Death and Dying
Poetry

It's the end

It's the end
the story is over.
There will be no more worry.
There will be no more angst.
I'm sorry you couldn't find another way.
I'm sorry life got so hard.
I'm sorry you couldn't see beyond tomorrow.
I'm sorry to let you go.
I'll miss your sense of humor.
I'll miss your amazing photos.
I'll miss watching you finish our garden path.
I'll miss your playful spirit.
I'll miss your tender soul.
I'll miss my son.
I'm proud to have been your Mom.
I'm proud of the man you were.

I will always love you

I see before me a beautiful soul
who sometimes swims alone in the dark.
I want you to know
you can call on me even in your darkest hour.
I am terrified when I see that look in your eyes
of hovering on the abyss of darkness.
I want to see peace and contentment
in your eyes.
I want to be able to celebrate your todays
without fearing for your tomorrows.
I want to know
you are okay.
I want you to know
I love you and I see you.
I will love you
even when you don't think

Poetry
Grief, Death and Dying

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