A Commitment to Use My Voice

Commitment, Forget the Wall

I committed to myself I was going to write something every day. I didn't make it public because I know my track record. Today is day two and I'm blank. It's painfully funny to be in my own face.

Lately, I've been going through a bit of a growth spurt. My mom has come to live with us. She has End Stage Renal (kidney) Disease. As she reminds me so often, she's dying. My emotions have been all over the place with this move and of course, her pending death. Many of my childhood issues have come back for another review. And, there's this thing of learning to live with my mom again. We always said we wouldn't do this, but here we are. 

In truth, she's a good housemate. She gives Tom and me lots of space. And she's really trying to be respectful of our world. None of it is really about her or any other person in my life. It's about me.

It's about my own inability to follow through on a commitment with myself. I've had lots of great ideas. I've been blogging for almost ten years with one site or another. But I never - and I mean never - follow through. Hence, finding humor in being on day two feeling like I have nothing to say. I've always seen this place as an invisible wall I can't get beyond. And, it has always stopped me.

My motto today - "forget the wall, keep on moving"

So, limited as this post is, I'm here. I'm showing up. How about you?

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