Pain, Joy, Living

Rainy day

Deep in my joints
aching with use
waking with sharpness
tingling in fingers
cramping in the belly
constant or wavering
physical pain
is my companion.
Tears in my heart
old and new
weighing me down
stealing my aliveness
being my home.
Some days the joy
life or love
come bubbling up
and pain subsides
the blue of the sky
the warmth of the sun
bringing forth
the life within.
But today
the weight of the rain
falls heavily on my soul
grounding my being
in the pains of my life.
Be they physical
or emotional
it matters not.
They are woven together
twisted in pairs
throughout my being.
The grief of loss
the shock and terror
the fear and trauma
a lifetime of pain
interlaced with
laughter and play
loving and adoration
mischief and pranks
all play upon my soul
like drops of rain
in the storm outside.
The memories
and the now
are all one tapestry
of a life well lived.
Pain? Joy? Want? Love?
Moment to moment
changing and singing
sometimes on a whim
sometimes directed
sometimes a choice
'til the soul light goes out
and suffers no more.