I want you to know
I don't blame you for the dark
things that happened to me
when I was a child.
I don't have any anger towards you.
I have long since accepted
you did the best you knew how at the time.
And, I truly believe
you left not only for your own sanity
but for my safety as well.
I believe some subconscious part of you knew
he was no good for either one of us.
I have come to this place in my life of acceptance
Acceptance of what really happened
It rained last night.
The ground is muddy and the grass squishes in places
but the world has been washed clean once again.
Thousands of diamonds hang from the Willow tree
reflecting the morning sunlight.
Like my life depended on it
My inner thoughts
My learning process
To encourage contemplation
A balm for pain
I have a voice
Writing brings me to life
Without it, I become aimless and angst ridden
Daily writing makes me smile
It doesn't judge
It touches others
It makes me whole
I stand at the edge of the abyss.
But it's really only darkness.
If only I could shine a light on this dark,
I might be able to see what's there.
It's the noise in the night that terrified me as a child.
It's the memories I couldn't quite grasp as an adult
That constricted my throat and made it impossible to breath.
It's the things of childhood I couldn't speak of,
The darkness that split my being into pieces.
Some part stayed and she's still lost in the darkness.
The rest turned the other way and moved on.
Spring sprouts in my heart
New life unfurling inside
Green bits showing now
Sense of direction
Aliveness brings clarity
Life moves forth today